Marriage and Couple's Counselling in Richmond

relate better

Relationship therapy (couple counselling) helps you and your partner appreciate each other more, change your perspectives and be different together. You both interact to make the relationship how it is, you can both contribute to making it better.

Working together in relationship therapy can help you

  • energise a relationship that feels stuck
  • understand yourself and each other better
  • recognise unhelpful patterns of behaviour
  • introduce a better way of being together for you (& your family).

The aim of therapy is to strengthen a relationship to cope with difficulties - not to achieve one that's 'perfect'. Where one partner is set on leaving, relationship therapy can help you separate with dignity.

improve understanding

Helping you understand yourself and your partner better is one of the key ingredients of how we work. We adapt to each couple’s needs and the issues they bring.

Firstly we’ll assess the situation with you and try to find ways to help you both. Secondly we’ll help you understand your own relationship needs and those of your partner. Finally your therapist will work to enable you to find new understanding for each other so you can cope better and feel better together.

In essence we aim to help you understand yourself and your partner better so you can both

  • de-escalate tensions and negative feelings
  • express your needs and feelings
  • gain mutual insight
  • accept each other’s individuality
  • manage issues better together.

communicate better

Your relationship therapist can help you talk honestly so that both of you can express what you don’t like, what you would like and what changes in behaviour would help.

You’ll learn how to

  • talk about the future not the past
  • change criticism to requests
  • ask instead of assume.

When couples begin to feel unhappy or bored it can lead to low mood, anxiety, mistrust, low libido, low self-esteem, anger, resentment, irritability, sleeplessness.

Make an appointment to talk confidentially with a skilled professional. Your therapist won’t take sides and will help you both talk about difficult issues in a safe space.


Talking therapy can help you strengthen a relationship, leave a relationship or provide support for future relationships.

FAQ

Can you do marriage counselling alone?

Marriage counselling or couple therapy needs both partners present in the sessions. Our couple therapists, as part of the process,tend to  see each partner for an individual session after the first or second session.

Does couples therapy really work and what’s the success rate?

Couples seek therapy for many reasons, whether to try to reconnect, resolve an issue, or find a way to separate with dignity. The outcome often depends on each partner’s openness. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples has a 70% success rate in clinical trials where couples aim to stay together.

Does marriage counselling make things worse?

Couple/marriage counselling is unlikely to make things worse between the couple, although, at times, the work can be emotionally difficult.

Does marriage counselling work after infidelity?

Marriage counselling is often very helpful after infidelity. It can help each partner understand what led to not being faithful and the process can help heal the hurt felt after the infidelity.   

Does marriage counselling work after separation?

After a separation there can be a lot of emotional pain which manifests as anger. Couple/marriage counselling can help heal those feelings by finding a better understanding of what went wrong. This can be very beneficial, particularly when children are involved, and when entering new relationships.

Do marriage counsellors ever suggest divorce?

Marriage or couple counsellor’s roles don’t involve making suggestions on divorce or other matters. They are there to help the partners better understand what happens between them to enable the couple to make the best decisions themselves.

How much does couples counselling cost?

At Re...root, the fees for couples counselling vary depending on when you want therapy:
Monday - Friday 9am to 4pm - £90, before 9am and from 5pm - £105. Saturdays - £120.

How do couples prepare for counselling?

Consider whether you still care for or love your partner. If you still care for or love your partner then therapy has a better chance of working. Ask whether you’re open to listening and to change, because change is at the heart of feeling better together. Changes include being open to reconnection and stopping hurtful behaviour.

What is EFT for couples? 

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) identifies a cycle that couples in distress commonly fall into: each partner sees the other as the problem causing the distress, yet the problem is caused by the couple’s inability to communicate their needs in a way that the other can accept, respond to, and engage with.

Emotionally Focussed Therapy (EFT) for couples is a model of therapy by Dr Sue Johnson. EFT is based on extensive research and draws on attachment theory. An EFT therapist will first help partners recognise these damaging cycles and understand what they each do to maintain their particular pattern of conflict. The next phase is to help each partner communicate their emotional needs in a way that can be accepted and responded to in an engaged way. The final phase is when the partners find new ways of being together. The number of sessions required will depend on how entrenched the cycles are and if there are past traumas experienced by either partner. The average number of sessions is 20 but can be fewer or a lot more. 

What is the best therapy for couples?

It’s hard to be definitive because each couple is different and many therapies contain similar elements, including examining how the couple came together and what triggered the difficulty, exploring each partner’s feelings, actions, and thoughts, plus understanding their own experience in the relationship and how their partner contributes to that.

In couples therapy, communication and behaviour are important areas of focus and a common strand includes how past experiences can influence reactions in the relationship in ways we aren’t aware of in the moment.

Depending on the particular history and issues that a couple brings, the experienced Re...root therapist will draw upon the relevant strands described above to bring about positive change wherever possible. The way of working will be equally fair and understanding to each partner overall, though it might feel at times that the focus is on your partner.