Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet it is also one of the most personal. Whether you’ve lost a loved one, experienced the end of a relationship, or lost a future you had imagined for yourself, grief can affect every part of your life. It can be overwhelming, confusing, exhausting and deeply painful.
One of the most challenging aspects of grief is that many people feel pressure to grieve in a certain way. They wonder if they’re grieving ‘correctly’, if they should be feeling differently, or if they should be further along in the process.
The truth is that there is no right way to grieve. At Re…root, we support people navigating loss and bereavement, helping them understand their experiences and find ways to move forward without feeling pressured to ‘get over it’.
What Is Grief?
Grief is the emotional response to loss. While many people associate grief with bereavement, grief can occur whenever we lose something meaningful to us.
This includes the death of a loved one, divorce or relationship breakdown, loss of a job, health changes, fertility challenges, moving away from home or loved ones, and the loss of a dream or future plan. Grief is a natural response to change and loss. It reflects the significance of what has been lost.
Why Everyone Experiences Grief Differently
No two people grieve in exactly the same way. Some people cry frequently whilst others rarely cry at all. Some want to talk about their loss constantly whereas others prefer quiet reflection. Some feel intense sadness immediately and others experience numbness before emotions emerge later.
Your experience of grief may be influenced by your relationship with what was lost, previous experiences of loss, personality and coping style, cultural or family beliefs, available support systems and the circumstances surrounding the loss. Because grief is so personal, comparing your experience to someone else’s often creates unnecessary pressure.
Common Feelings During Grief
Although grief looks different for everyone, many people experience a range of emotional, physical and psychological responses.
These may include emotional responses such as sadness, anger, guilt, relief, anxiety, loneliness, confusion, and numbness.
These may also include physical responses such as fatigue, difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite, difficulty concentrating, muscle tension and feeling physically heavy or drained.
You may also experience cognitive responses such as forgetfulness, feeling distracted, replaying memories, difficulty making decisions and questioning the future.
It’s important to remember that all of these experiences can be normal parts of the grieving process.
The Myth of the Stages of Grief
Many people have heard of the five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. While these stages can help describe some grief experiences, they are often misunderstood. Grief is not a neat, predictable sequence.
You might feel acceptance one day and intense sadness the next, experience anger months after a loss, and move between different emotions repeatedly. Grief is rarely linear. It’s often more like waves – sometimes gentle, sometimes overwhelming, sometimes arriving when you least expect them.
When Grief Shows Up Unexpectedly
Many people assume grief gradually fades away. In reality, grief often changes rather than disappears. Certain experiences can unexpectedly trigger strong emotions such as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, familiar places, music, photographs and significant life events. These moments can bring grief back into focus, even years later. This doesn’t mean you’re moving backwards. It simply reflects the continuing significance of the loss.
Grieving More Than a Person
One aspect of grief that is often overlooked is that we don’t only grieve people. We may grieve the future we expected, a relationship that ended, a version of ourselves, lost opportunities, changes to our health and life plans that didn’t unfold as hoped. These forms of grief can be just as real and significant as bereavement, even if they are less visible to others.
How to Support Yourself Through Grief
There is no shortcut through grief, but there are ways to support yourself during difficult periods.
- Allow yourself to feel what you feel – Try not to judge your emotions or compare them to others.
- Be patient with yourself – Grief often takes longer than people expect.
- Accept support – Talking to friends, family, or professionals can help reduce feelings of isolation.
- Look after your basic needs – Sleep, food, movement and rest become more important during times of loss.
- Remember there is no timetable – You do not need to ‘move on’ according to anyone else’s expectations.
When Additional Support May Help
Grief can feel incredibly lonely, especially when others expect life to return to normal before you’re ready. Therapy provides a safe and compassionate space to explore difficult emotions, process loss and change, make sense of your experience, and find ways to carry grief without it overwhelming you. Seeking support doesn’t mean you’re grieving incorrectly. It means you’re giving yourself space to heal.
Understanding Grief
Grief is not a problem to solve or a process to complete. It is a natural response to losing something or someone important. There is no perfect timeline. There is no correct set of emotions. There is no right way to grieve. Your grief is your own. And whatever form it takes, it deserves understanding, compassion and support.
If you are navigating loss and finding it difficult to cope, Re…root is here to provide a safe space where you can explore your experience and find support at your own pace.